


TRISTFUL. albus dumbledore

by drinkingguk



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crush, Good Draco Malfoy, Growing Up, Love, M/M, Magic, Obsession, Original Character(s), The Deathly Hallows, The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore, Toxic Relationship, Unrequited, dumbledores early life, requited, toxic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:00:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26993314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drinkingguk/pseuds/drinkingguk
Summary: the life and lies of albus dumbledore.tristful(adj.) sad, melancholyunfortunately i don't own the majority of characters in this book, those belong to jk rowling
Relationships: Albus Dumbeldore/Original Character, Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald, Albus Dumbledore/OMC, Albus Dumbledore/Orignal male character
Comments: 8
Kudos: 12





	1. prolouge

_I loved him._

_Truly, I did._

_I think that's why I stayed so long._

_Hoping that he would stop this foolery._

_I think, that I always knew what he was. The monster that was brewing inside of him._

_But I closed my eyes. And hoped that my love would take the monster away._

__

__**THE LIFE AND LIES OF ALBUS**   
**DUMBLEDORE**   



	2. one

The day Albus Dumbledore received his Hogwarts letter was one of the happiest days of his life. As awful as he felt about being so excited to leave their new home, he couldn't help but feel ecstatic the moment he saw the tawny ow, with a letter in its beak, fly through the window.

Almost floating with excitement, he ran over to the owl, gave it a knut, took the letter, and ran. Running a hand through his disheveled hair, he took in a deep breath, then began to open it. Peeling away the red wax with nimble fingers, slowly removing the parchment inside so he doesn't tear the envelope.

"Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. Headmaster, Armando Dippet," he whispers to no one. "Dear Mr. Dumbledore, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a letter of all the necessary books and equipment. Term begins on the 1st of September. We await your owl by no later than the 31st of July Yours sincerely, Haider Lester."

Once he finishes reading he stares at the letter for what feels like hours. He cant believe it. He's finally going to Hogwarts, where he will be surrounded by wizards.

There hadn't been much talk of magic around the Dumbledore's lately. It's been a topic everyone has avoided since Percival Dumbledore, Albus' father, was sent to prison for attacking muggle boys who harmed Ariana.

Six-year-old Ariana's powers have been uncontrollable since the attack and mentioning that day, their father or magic makes it even worse.

But albus didn't see how he could avoid this conversation, it had to happen. He decided on speaking to his mother when it was past Ariana's bedtime and hoped that she was fast asleep.

Later that day, after the sun had set and the moon had risen, Albus walked to his mother's room, hands trembling as he knocked on the door. "Yes?" A soft voice answers.

Albus pushes the door and stands next to his mother's bed, hands now fidgeting with his Hogwarts letter. "Mum, I know things haven't been well for our family recently and this might not be the best news, but my-" his voice cuts off abruptly and he decides on shoving the letter in his mother's lap.

She takes it with a concerned look at her son, then looks down and starts to read. Albus studies her expressions and he hopes that she is not mad with the letter. When she's done reading, she meets her son's eyes once more and smiles softly. "This is amazing news, Albus."

"W-what?" he stammers.

"This is amazing, we will take you to Diagon Alley tomorrow," she smiles at him as she says this. "You should be happy, this is one of the most important things in your life. Your father would be happy too, he is happy, dear."

True to her word, they go to Diagon Alley the next day. Aberforth and Ariana were staying with their neighbor, Bathilda Bagshot. His wand, ebony wood with a phoenix feather core, eleven and a half inches and hard flexibility, cost seven galleons. He got his books from flourish and blotts and his mother bought him a tawny owl, which he decided to name after his father.

This was of the best days in almost a year for Albus and he thought that it was one of the best for his mother too.

He felt guilty about leaving her on her own to look after Aberforth and Ariana, but she wanted him to go. Besides, he would be able to help better once he learned magic. Maybe he would come back and Ariana's magic would have calmed down a bit. Perhaps surrounding her with magic might make it worse, if that's true, moving to Godric's Hollow wouldn't have been a great thing then.

Sitting in the last carriage on the Hogwarts Express, with a book placed on his lap, someone knocks gently on the door. Albus looks at it to see a tall boy, who he expects would be taller than even him and everyone tells him that he's tall for his age, with slick, jet black hair, light brown skin, and a worrisome expression on his face. "D'you mind if I sit here? Everywhere else is full,"

"Not at all," Albus answers, letting his legs drop for the seat in front of him.

"I'm Adam Swanson," the boy, Adam, says, holding out a hand.

Albus takes it and gives it a firm shake before replying with his name. Adam does some sort of wriggle in his seat like he's either trying to say something or trying not to say something.

"Dumbledore?" He whimpers.

"Yes?" Albus questions, confused. "I haven't heard of your family, are you muggle-born?"

The boy straightens up and turns his head sharply to look out of the window, nervousness has left his expression and is now replaced by fear.

"I'm not going to attack you," Albus says bluntly. "My dad only hurt those muggles because they attacked my sister and if you must know my mum's muggle-born."

Adam visibly relaxed when he heard this and started looking guilty. "I'm sorry, I'm very new to all this, the only thing I heard about your family is that your dad's a nutter who hates muggle-borns." Almost instantly he realise's what he said and mutters another 'sorry' before he notices Albus laughing.

"Its fine, promise," Albus assures him. "So you are muggle-born then? Must have been a big shock when you found out."

Adam smiles, "Yeah, it was. I had just finished reading to my little sister then a man in funny robes is knocking at my door, telling my parents that he has big news for me. It was quite horrifying actually."

They let out a giggle, relieved that the tension has fully dissolved. "What's muggle life like? My mum's side are muggles but we don't see them often, they think we're freaks."

"That's not very nice of them," Adam says. "Its alright, We arent the richest but we get by. My family are nice, my sister doesn't understand it, she was crying all day when we told her I was leaving."

They spend the next few hours talking about their lives, Albus tells Adam almost everything he knows about the wizarding world as they work their way through a pile of sweets they bought from the trolley.

The train comes to a stop and they are ushered out of it and into little boats by the prefects and a short, stubby looking man. For a few minutes, they see nothing but darkness and can only hear the sounds of the water and the boats push through. An eruption of gaps and exclamations of 'wow' make Albus lift his head and he see's Hogwarts for the first time.

Settled on top of a high mountain, stood the castle, the light from the windows lighting up the lake, with its many turrets and towers. Albus was speechless, as was Adam. This is it. This is home.

They climbed up the many stairs and walked the paths leading to the castle and the short stubby man raised his fist and banged on the giant doors three times. They opened instantly and the students were greeted by a warm light. The man led them through the entrance hall, and to another large door where a tall and skinny man stood, in the finest dress robes money could buy.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," said the man. "I am Professor Lester. The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room.

"The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rulebreaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours.

"The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting."

The man, Professor Lester leaves and the students turn to each other, talking in n hushed voices. Adam turns to Albus, "How do I look?"

"Dashing," Albus replies with a cheeky smile. 

The professor comes back and leads them into the great hall, with four long tables in, and students in red, yellow, blue, and green are sat at them. He stops them when they reach the front of the hall, where an old man is sat in a big gold chair. ' _That must be the headmaster'_ Albus thinks.

In front of them, Professor Lester puts a stool down, on top of it he adds a roll of parchment and an old hat. He unrolls the parchment and begins to read names, "Bethon, Sarah," was first and she stumbles up to the stool and sits on the very edge of it. The hate is placed on her head and she stills, and almost seconds later the house bellows "RAVENCLAW!" And the table with the student in blue erupts into cheers and claps.

Another person "Crowley, James" A short boy with sandy brown hair who gets placed in Hufflepuff. Then it's Albus' turn.

He walks up to the stool and hopes that it doesn't show how terrified he is, the hat is placed on his head and he hears a voice. "Ah, a Dumbledore."

"You have a great brain, eager to learn and eager to create. You have a big heart, and a want to find things that will stop bringing your loved one's pain." The voice stops and Albus grips the edges of the stool.

"You're prepared to do what you must for those you care about, even if it means hurting yourself. But you don't mind hurting others if it's for the greater good. You have admire courage and braveness yet you are cunning and are prepared to do what you must to get what you want.

"But where to put you?" The voice stops and Albus thinks 'not Slytherin' over and over again. His father told him that Slytherins were a bunch of old dirty snakes who can't be trusted, he didn't want to be one of them.

"Not Slytherin? You could be great and do great things. Not all Slytherins are evil, young Dumbledore. Slytherins are cunning, ambitious, clever, they know what they want and how to get it. That is you, is it not?"

Albus thinks for a second, the makes up his mind.

The hat remains silent and suddenly it shouts "GRYFFINDOR!"

He lets out a big sigh of relief and heads over to the Gryffindor table, greeted by cheers and many handshakes. He sits next to one of the sixth years whose name he couldn't hear over the loud exclamations from other tables as more students were sorted.

Adam gets sorted into Gryffindor and he rushes over to sit in front of Albus, "That was horrifying."

"It was," Albus agrees. "You were really quick though, just a few seconds."

"Really?" Adam questions. "You were up there for ages, nearly five minutes." Albus thoughts went back to the hat telling him he is a Slytherin and that he would do great in that house.

He cant mope for long however, the empty plates in front of them fill with food and they tuck in.

That night, Albus goes to bed with a full stomach and feeling happier than he has in a long time. He dozes off to the sound of the rain hitting the windows and Adam's deep breaths. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the first chapter done. I cant promise anything but I'm aiming for at least two updates a week. Its such a struggle with school which is already piling up and the whole covid thing.
> 
> How are you?
> 
> Of course you don't have too but id really appreciate it if you could vote and leave some comments, i love all thoughts and constructive criticism 


	3. two

Albus had made a friend named Elphias Doge, a Hufflepuff boy in the year above. Elphias would help him with his potions homework, Professor Candid was very unforgiving. Adam had been in detention three times and September had barely finished.

As the days passed through October the air grew colder and colder. There was nothing aside from the crackling fires to keep them warm and not every classroom had them. Albus didn't understand why they don't use some kind of warming charm. So instead, he resorted to layering his socks under his long trousers.

Sat at the Gryffindor table in the great hall, he took at some parchment and his quill and began to write.

_'Dear mother,_

_I hope everything is going well at home, I'm sorry I can't be there. Say hello to Ariana and Aberforth, I miss them._

_Hogwarts is amazing, potions is difficult, but I'm really good at transfiguration and defense against the dark arts. I've made some friends, Adam, who is in my dormitory, we are the only boys in Gryffindor this year, and Elphias Doge, a Hufflepuff boy in the year ahead. Elphias help me with potions, he says I have really improved, which is good. People here, the Slytherins, are really mean to Adam. I think it's because he's muggle-born, like you, I try to defend him but it's difficult sometimes, we aren't always together and it's a lot of the older students doing it._

_Aside from that, it's been amazing, I love it here. How have you been?_

_Lots of love, Albus.'_

Adam was munching away at his breakfast, whilst Albus was tying his letter to Percy's foot. "Letter to your mum?"

"Yeah," Albus replies.

They set off to their charms lesson. Albus' tongue pushing against his cheek as he thought about his family. Would Ariana be okay? It's Aberforth's birthday soon, what should I get him?

Something of his thoughts must have shown on his face because Adam asked if he was alright.

"Oh yeah," Albus replies. "Just thinking about mum." That seems to finish the conversation. They go to their lessons and practice the levitation charm again.

Like September, October passed without much disruption. Everything was okay at home, Ariana hadn't had any youtube bursts and Aberforth had made a new friend. Albus had sent his brother a long letter telling him about Hogwarts and everything he has to look forward to, he also stuck a few gold galleons to the back of the parchment.

On Halloween night, all the students ate in the great hall for the Halloween feast. It was spectacular. Mountains upon mountains of food and sweets. Pumpkin pasties, Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans (Adam ate a vomit flavoured one and was almost sick) they even had muggle sweets, like sherbet lemons. They could see Elphias stuffing his face with cauldron cakes and licorice wands.

November had passed much quicker too, they were settling into their lessons and getting into a pattern of doing homework in the library, or in the corner of their common room.

By the time December came, it was so cold that Albus had taught himself a warming charm and put it on his shoes, but even with that, he had to layer his socks. Adam would steal some of his socks too.

One Saturday Professor Lester came round with a list telling students who were staying over Christmas to write their names down. Albus frantically scribbled his down, never wanting to leave Hogwarts. Surprisingly, he didn't feel as bad about this as he thought he would, but mother would understand. He would write her a letter explaining that he needed to use the library.

His excitement about staying at Hogwarts dimmed slightly when he saw Adam's packed trunk on the morning of the 20th. "You're going home?" Albus asked.

"Yeah, sorry I mustn't have told you, I thought I did," Adam answers.

"It's okay." he walked with adam down to the entrance hall and then the taller boy went with the rest of the students down the path.

Albus turned to go to the library when he banged into a tall, white-haired student. Albus rushees out an apology, spotting the green scarf and wanting to leave as soon as possible.

"Watch where you're going in future," the boy said. His voice was rather deep for his age, he didn't look much older than Albus, his white hair complimented his pale skin and pointed facial features.

"I'm sorry," Albus says, trying not to jumble his words in front of a Slytherin. "It was an accident."

The white-haired boy looks down at him and opens his mouth, but before the words come out someone shouts, "Abraxas, come on," from behind them.   
  


They both look to the direction of the sound and see a group of six Slytherins waiting for Abraxas. That name sounded familiar to Albus. Before he could ask for his last name, the boy had turned, with a swish of his long coat, and walked back to his friends.

He walked back to the Gryffindor common room to find it nearly empty, aside from a few older students. _Abraxas_ , he thought. It kept running through his mind until he finally realised. A Malfoy.

The Malfoys are known to be trouble, they have all been in Slytherin and are a bunch of pureblood supremacists, along with most of the Slytherins. He shook his head and grabbed a chocolate frog that was on the armchair, he wasn't sure whose it was but if they left it lying about surely they didn't mind if he took it, and went to have a lie down in his bed.

The library and his bed were the places albus decided to spend most of the next four days. He was waiting around for a letter, whether it was from his mum or Adam. He ran a hand through his auburn hair that had started to get quite long and got up to sit by the fire. It was still quite cold, but Albus had gotten better at his heating charm so now he was warm enough with just one pair of sock.

Later that night, he sent off a letter to his mum and attached to that letter was some sweets for Aberforth and Ariana, he sent Adam a pair of his finest woolen socks and a note that said _'you can stop stealing mine now_ ' and a horrible drawing of a smiley face.

When he awoke the next morning, there was a pile of letters and three wrapped presents. He opened the first present which was two boxes of Bertie Botts from his other, she had also written him back telling him that Ariana and Aberforth miss him greatly.

Next, he opened a gift from Elphias, who had given him some socks and a letter that said _'you can never have too many socks'._ He had given Elphias a book that was old and valuable before he left for home.

The last present was from Adam. He had sent him a muggle pencil and a book called 'Pride and Prejudice' and inside the book, written on the inside cover was a note explaining what the book is.

There was another letter, and his feelings of joy and happiness were ephemeral.

' _Dear Albus,_

_I am so sorry that I have to tell you this news today, but I have only just found out, and I felt it was right that you know too._

_I have been informed by the ministry that your father has passed away during his time in Azkaban. Apparently, he died a few weeks ago, I was only notified today._

_I have told your brother and sister and it hasn't gone too well. Ariana had an outburst and Aberforth's magic went temporarily out of control. Ariana has calmed down but I can feel the magic bubbling around her._

_I want you home but I think it would be best for you to stay at Hogwarts for the remainder of the holidays._

_Please write._

_Lots of love, your mother.'_

For a moment, he was frozen. He put his hand to his chest, trying to rub the pain away, but it didn't help, it just made it worse. He tried to take a step forward but fell to his knees instead. His head was spinning, he brought his hands to his hair and tugged as hard as he can. He didn't know why. He felt his eyes stinging, but he couldn't cry.

No.

He had to be strong for his family. He tried to push himself off the ground but his hands gave way and he fell onto the soft carpet. Not trying to move, he stayed there, his head was spinning and the room was shaking then eventually everything went black.

What felt like hours later, he woke up and was met with bright, white light. Blinking a few times as his eyes adjusted, he turned his head and saw, who was it?

"Adam?" he asked aloud and the boy smiled his familiar crooked smile.

"How are you feeling?" He asked softly.

"Splendid," Albus replied. "How long have I been here?"

"A few days, I think, I came back yesterday." Adam's face suddenly turned serious. "Albus, do you want to talk about it?"

Albus suddenly remembers why he was in the hospital wing in the first place, and that pain came rushing back and he listed his arm to soothe his chest. He shook his head and hoped that Adam didn't see the truth. He was terrified.

"Albus, you can always talk to me," he moved his arm to gently rub Albus' shoulder, reassuring him that he was there.

"I know, I'm just not ready to talk yet, and definitely not in the hospital wing," Adam let out a small giggle as Albus racked around his brain, looking to change the subject.

But Adam beats him to it, "what did you get for Christmas?"

"Some sweets and socks and stuff," he replies gently. "You?"

"Same."

Shortly after, the matron came and said that he was good to go, she gave him some dreamless sleep potion and told him to come back for more if he needs it.

They do talk about it, and surprisingly, Albus feels better. The pain is still there, but ist easier to manage when he's with his friends.

The rest of the year passes quickly, too quickly. Albus feels selfish for wanting to stay with his friends but he knows that he has to go home and help his mother.

Gryffindor lost the house cup, but thankfully it wasn't Slytherin who won. To everyone's surprise, it was Hufflepuff, Elphias was delighted.

Adam started calling Albus, 'Al.' Albus had teased his mercilessly about it to see the blush that darkened his cheeks. Both boys had gotten even closer since Albus' father died, they didn't talk about it much but they knew that the rest of the year wasn't going to be easy for Albus, but they would get through it.

And they did. They did very well on their end of year exams. Albus had the highest scores in the year, apart from potions, he was second to a Ravenclaw girl. Both Adam and Elphias had performed brilliantly too, they were excited to tell everyone at home how good they did.

Before they knew it, it was the last day of term. A melancholy sheet had covered the usually cheery castle and it didn't lift even when they were on the train, or platform nine and three quarters.

They said their goodbyes and promised to write to each other. Then they went to their families.

Albus' mother looked much skinnier than usual and her normally bright face was now sorrowful. She smiled when she saw him but it didn't reach her eyes. They walked over to a floo station and then they were home.

But Albus didn't feel as though he was home. Two months and then he would be back home, with his friends. Two months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it for chapter two. the way I wanted to write this was to kind of rush through his earlier years and really get to grindelwald quickly. i will be making a change to the canon grindelwald and Dumbledore relationship, their actual freidnship/relationship only lasted for months, I've thought quite long about this so instead of having meet when kendra died I'm going to have them meet the Christmas of albus' seventh year. I'm doing this purely because I want longer with these two and their romantic relationship.
> 
> how are you?
> 
> as always, votes and comments are appreciated and have a good day :)


	4. three

_ Dear Al, _

_ I promised I would write to you, I’d do it even if I hadn’t but that’s beside the point. I hope everything is well at home. How are your mother, Ariana, and Aberforth? _

_ My sister is happy to have me back, apparently, she slept in my room for a week after I had left.  _

_ It’s only been a few days since I saw you last so I don’t have much to tell you. Being back to muggle life is weird. I have gotten so used to your heating charms that even in the summer heat, which isn’t much for Britain, my feet are still cold. _

_ Sorry, this letter is so boring, hopefully, I’ll have more to tell you when I get your reply. Please write back, and please remember you can't talk to me, you don’t have to go through this alone. _

_ Adam S. _

  
  


_ Dear Adam, _

_ I am glad you came through with your promise. I missed you. My mum is okay, she’s coping. I don’t know how she does it. Aberforth doesn’t speak to me much, only when he has to. As for Ariana she barely talks now, mostly, she whispers dad’s name in her sleep. _

_ I’m glad your sister missed you, when I meet her I’ll tell her all about how you would cry in your bed because you missed her. _

_ Your letter isn’t boring, I like hearing from you. I’m afraid I don’t have much to say either. My neighbor, Bathilda Bagshot, is supposedly writing a new book. As for your cold feet, I can hardly say you don’t deserve it after stealing all my socks. _

_ I know I can talk to you, I don’t have much to say. I feel the same. I miss him. I wish I spent more time with him when he was here, but even mother can't deny he favoured Aberforth and Ariana. I just feel so useless, all the time. _

_ I hope you know you can always speak to me too. _

_ Yours truly _

_ Al. _

  
  


_ Dear Al, _

_ I like to hear from you too. Unfortunately, my week has been rather uneventful. But, my dad got promoted at work! Mum said that they might be able to afford a pet. I was thinking either an owl or a cat, toads are useless.  _

_ Your neighbor is Bathilda Bagshot? That’s so cool! She wrote like, half of our school books. If you see her, tell her she is a lifesaver.  _

_ I’m sorry to hear about your sister, maybe she just needs time. Perhaps she’s feeling even worse. Maybe Abeforth needs some time too, I think he must have been really close to your dad. As for your mother, she probably hasn’t had time to mourn because she has had to look after your siblings. Mothers are so incredibly strong. _

_ I always gave back your socks! They were always squeaky clean. You really should tell me where you buy them.  _

_ You aren’t useless. Not to your family, not to me. I remember how I felt when I lost my nan. I felt empty like there was nothing I could do. But, look at me now.  _

_ I know I can talk to you, you’re my best friend. _

_ Adam S. _

_ P.S. Have you heard from Elphias? I’d write to him but I don’t want to send Percy on a big journey, especially since he isn’t my owl. _

  
  


That summer was one of the most miserable summers yet, Albus thought. Letters back and forth to Adam were one of the only things he looked forward to. However, one morning he received a letter from Adam, which includes his answer about coming to stay at Godric’s hollow for the last week of the summer break.

During Albus’ last letter to the other boy, he had told him that his mother had said it would be okay if he was to stay at Godric’s Hollow for a week. 

Adam had written back saying his parents had got it checked with the ministry to open their fireplace to the floo network for an hour and that he would be at Albus’ at one in the afternoon on the following Saturday.

That was tomorrow.

Albus rushes around his room, picking up all his clothes that he has thrown off. He makes his bed, tucking the sides of the quilt under the mattress. HE hurries through the corridors making sure that there is nothing that would embarrass him lying about. Using an old stained cloth, he scrubs aggressively at the stain on the fireplace and wipes the windows down twice.

He cleans until his tiredness makes him hang limp like wet, freshly washed clothes hanging in the washing line. It has to be perfect for Adam.

The following day he wakes up earlier than the others, grabbing his copy of ‘pride and prejudice’ he hurries downstairs and sits on the chair in front of the fireplace. He opens his book, deciding to read again, but his head is too full of excitement he can’t think properly. He sees the words but he doesn’t understand them.

Around an hour later, his mother comes down and asks him what he’s doing up so early. To that, he replies with “Waiting for Adam, of course.”

His mother laughs and makes remarks on how clean the house is. The talk idly for the next few hours which seems to be going slower and slower by the minute. 

When the clock hit one, the fireplace had sparked to like and blazed a great, green fire. Barely a second late came Adam, tumbling out of the fireplace, tripping over his own feet and landing face-first on the floor. Laughter fills the air and the boy on the floor is offered a hand and he takes it gratefully. 

The two boys hug tightly whilst saying their hello’s. Just as they pull apart they are knocked over by Adams' trunk. They got up and the taller boy had introduced himself to Kendra.

“I’m Adam, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Dumbledore,” he says politely. 

“It’s lovely to meet you too,” Kendra replies. “How about you take your trunk to Albus' room?” 

Albus grabs one end of the trunk whilst Adam gets the other. Together they heave it up the stairs, then Albus rolls it into his bedroom. His room, which is normally rather messy, was now spotless. His mother had enlarged his bed so that both boys could fit comfortably on it. Next to his bed was a desk, with neatly arranged stacks of parchment and colour co-ordinate quills and ink pots.

He sets the trunk down next to his wardrobe, which is quite small, especially when it’s next to the bookshelf that is stacked with books. Adam runs his fingers over the spine of the books, he notices last year’s books and the books for this year, which he had gotten at Diagon Alley last week.

Adam puts his hand inside his pockets and gets the small kitten and places it gently on Albus’ bed.

“You decided on a cat then?” Albus asks.

“Yeah, she called ‘Dite,” he pauses to stoke her small head. “Her full name is Aphrodite though.”

“She’s adorable.”

“Yeah, she is,” Adam replies with his familiar crooked smile.

Finally, Albus thought, he’s home.

  
  


Over the course of the following week, Albus and Adam talked about everything and nothing. Sometimes they would rant for hours on end about how annoying their teachers are or how they missed eating at the Hufflepuff table with Elphias on Friday evenings

Adam had gotten on with Aberforth well enough. Apparently, they had a conversation about the enchanted ceiling one morning. Even Ariana managed to stutter out a small ‘hello’ at Adam’s warm and inviting face.

However, Albus couldn’t help but notice the things different with Adam. How his pants were now inches above his ankles and he had asked Kendra to lengthen them with magic. Or how he had grown into his features more, his jawline was more defined and his hands had gotten much bigger than Albus’.

For Albus’ birthday, they had gone on a walk around Godric's hollow. Adam had finally gotten to meet Bathilda Bagshot, which he was rather excited for. Later in the evening, Mrs Dumbledore had come out with a double-layered chocolate cake that the entire family enjoyed.

Before they knew it, it was time to board the Hogwarts express. Albus was obviously excited that he gets to go back, but he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of annoyance at the thought of not being able to spend all his time with Adam. Then, he realised how ridiculous that was, considering they share a room.

  
  


Their first month back at Hogwarts ran smoothly. Albus had completed all his homework and had gotten the highest marks, he even beat Melanie Smith, the Ravenclaw who had gotten higher than him in the end of year exams. Elphias had apologised for not writing to him and told them that his family took him on a surprise trip to France.

One thing Albus definitely didn’t miss about being back, was the homework. It had only been a month and had already started to pile up, and they were only in their second year. 

By the time December had come, Albus had had his first ever detention. It was for potions. During a lesson, he had mixed up the instructions of the board and when he had gone to get a vial to collect a sample of his potion, he had tripped over someone's robes and had knocked over the vials causing them all to shatter.

Professor Candid had shouted at the top of his voice as Albus stared at his shoes. His throat tightening and fingernails digging into his palms. Albus had never been shouted at by a teacher before, and he had no plans to. 

Adam and Elphias spent over an hour rubbing his back and trying to cheer him up. Telling him about their detentions with the professor and trying to convince him that they aren't that bad. 

Reluctantly, Albus stopped moping and had a big tea, his plate almost overflowing with mash and gravy.

Like his friends said, the detention wasn't that bad, albeit very boring. He was labelling the professor potion ingredients and organizing them in alphabetical order. When he returned to the boys dorm, he was surprised to see that Adam was still up, in his green, stripey pyjamas. 

“You didn't have to stay up,” The younger boy said. 

“I know, but youre my friend and you were worried,” Adam said blankly. “How was it?”

“Fine,” Albus murmured, taking off his robes and slipping into his own pyjamas. “Boring.”

“He’s such a git,” Adam huffed. “You didn’t even do anything, it was an accident.”

Albus smiled at his best friend's antics. “It’s alright, there’s nothing i can do about it now.”

The thirteen and twelve year old talked about their git-of-a professor for a few minutes longer before they said their goodnights. And like his first night at Hogwarts, Albus fell into a deep slumber listening to the sounds of rain hit the windows and Adams gentle breaths.

That year for Christmas, Albus got even more socks, some books and sweets, from the muggle world and the wizarding world. Adam had stayed for Christmas too, they ate a ginormous roast dinner and played many games of wizards chess and thankfully, Adam was very graceful with his losses. 

Adam had stayed up rubbing Albus’ back and handing him tissues when he read over the letter his mother sent him last year. Telling him that it's okay he is feeling this way, and that the pain he is feeling makes him human. 

One day in January, when Albus was at the library, he saw the white-haired boy from last year. He couldn't help but stare at his perfect hair, or his plump pink lips, or how his eyelashes fluttered when he shook his head out of stress. He came out of his trance when Elphias hit him in his side. He looked back down at the open book and hoped that his long hair would cover the blush that rose to his cheeks.

The next few months passed and Albus caught himself staring at Abraxas Malfoy’s pale face or Adams sharper jaw. Everytime he did this he would look down to his feet and shake his head, trying to shake out what he had just seen.

This year, Albus finally understood why everyone was so stressed about exams. He felt like he was a bear and people kept prodding him, he just wanted to shout at everyone. He still didn't understand half of the potions work, even with Elphias helping him. He tried asking some of the older Gryffindors too, but they were busy with their own revision. 

Then, he had to think about what subjects he wanted to do next year. It's a shame he couldn't drop potions, he would think, whenever he looked at the Pamphlet their head of house, Professor Lester, had given them. He knew he wanted to do the study of ancient runes, and he was positive that he didn't want to do divination, he thought it was a load of rubbish. After speaking to Elphias and Adam, he decided on choosing care of magical creatures. He wasn't necessarily interested in it, but it was better than divination. 

For all of Albus’ other subjects, he was the highest in the year, again. In otions, however, he was in the bottom ten. When he had gotten his result it felt like a weight had been put on his already heavy shoulders. Gryffindor didn't win the house cup again, so not even that could cheer him up. The slytherins won. To Albus’ complete surprise, when he looked over to the table where the students in green were sat, he locked eyes with Abraxas Malfoy. 

The white-haired boy smiled at him. Albus was frozen for a minute. Me? He thought, then he came back to his senses and tried to smile. Then his eyes darted back toward his almost empty plate and he felt his cheeks heating up, something that had happened a lot this year.

The next day, when all the students were boarding the Hogwarts Express, Adam looked at him and asked, “Happy to be going home?”

“I'm not going home,” Albus looked in the direction of the castle. “Not really.” The scarlett train moved through the countryside and into London and he was back with his family, already missing everything about Hogwarts.


	5. four

The summer of 1894 was, and there was no other way to put it, boring. When he wasn't waiting around for a letter from his friends, he would attempt to do his homework. Which seemed extra boring. Whenever he would sit down and take out his books and parchment, his brain decided to take this as an opportunity to wander.

Missing being surrounded by people, he would often find himself imagining people from Hogwarts. And the perfect face of Abraxas Malfoy. Would his cheekbone be more defined? Is that even possible? Albus thought.

Possibly, the most interesting thing that happened was Aberforth getting his Hogwarts letter. Unfortunately, Aberforth didn't share the same view. He had told his mother that he wasn't going, that Ariana needed him. But, Kendra refused, and eventually had persuaded him to see reason.

"Hogwarts is one of the best things in life, you can't miss it," she said.

Ariana didn't mind. She had gotten better over the years. She speaks to them now, she helps Aberforth with the gardening and their mother with the cooking.

One thing he had to look forward to was the trip to Diagon Alley.

Albus, Adam, and Elphias had all agreed to meet up outside of Flourish and Blotts where they would buy their school books together.

On a Thursday morning, the three boys wandered through the book shops before eventually deciding on asking the shop-keeper for help. When Albus told the woman the books he needed, she let out a cry when she heard him say 'Defense: dark detectors, spells, and creatures'. Which confused him quite a bit considering it was quite a boring name.

He quickly realised that this book wasn't as harmless as he thought. When the shop-keeper reached for the book, a hand emerged from the middle of the cover and reached out for her, she quickly slapped the hand, then slapped it again, and again. After she had slapped the grey hand around ten times,it finally went limp, then sort of... dissolved into thin air.

Once all three of the boys had gotten their books, much to the women's dismay, they left the shop and wandered around the street.

"Did you get your Hogsmeade letter signed?" Adam asked, nudging Albus' shoulder. Adam had gotten even taller over the summer.

"Yeah, I can't wait!"Albus replied excitedly. After walking around, Adam stopped outside of Amanuensis Quills and told them he needed to nip in.

Five minutes later he came out with a large, golden quill. He held it out to Albus and said "happy birthday, mate."

"My birthday isn't till tomorrow," Albus said, confused. He took the quill and looked down at it, brushing over the golden feather. It had black ancient runes engraved into the nib. "This must be really expensive," he said, voicing his thoughts.

"I know your birthday is tomorrow, you numpty," Adam retorted. "It's from both of us," indicating him and Elphias.

Albus looked up at both of them, smiled wide on his face, and started positively beaming.

The trip back to Hogwarts was as good as the time before. The three boys sat in the last compartment on the red train making fun of each other and working their way through mountains of chocolate frogs and pumpkin pasties.

Abeforth had been sorted into Hufflepuff, and Gryffindor had gained six new students. They had a new defense against the dark arts teacher, Professor Merrythought. Shame it wasn't Candid, Albus thought miserably.

Their first defense lesson was a practical lesson. She was there before the bell and she was standing in front of a wardrobe that kept banging around.

"Can anyone tell me what is in the wardrobe?" She asked.

"That's a boggart," Albus answered before anyone else could.

"Very good, can anybody tell me what a boggart looks like?"'

"Nobody knows," Adam responded.

"That it's correct," the professor said. "A boggart is a shapeshifter, it takes the shape of whatever it thinks will scare us most. We have an advantage on this boggart, does anyone know what it is?"

"Because there's a lot of us," Albus started, "it won't know what to change into, it will get confused."

"Well done, there is a very simple charm to repel a boggart, repeat after me please," she stood up straighter and said clearly "riddikulus."

The class followed saying loudly "riddikulus."

"Get in a line in front of me," the professor said and the class pushed each other around trying to get to the front. She looked to Adam, who was tall enough that they were at eye-level. "I want you to picture what fears you most and a way to turn it funny. Then, I want you to use the spell we just learned, understand?" And the entire class murmured yes.

Walking to the side of the classroom, she takes her wand out of her pocket and points it at the wardrobe.

The door cracked and the room fell silent, Albus could see Adam shaking. Suddenly the wardrobe kicked open. Albus couldn't tell what it was exactly. A clawed foot came out, followed by deep heaving breaths, then the rest of the creature came out, unfolding from the confines of the wardrobe. Its two yellow eyes glow brighter than the sun.

"Riddikulus!" Adam cried out and the monster started tumbling around, with wheels now attached to its feet and long pink hair sprouted from its head. The class erupted into laughter.

Adam walked to the back and now it was Albus' turn.

When he approached the monster, his wand held high, it paused for a moment. Everything happened so quickly. One moment the monster was there, staring at him, next a woman with balc hair and a young girl with auburn hair was lying on the floor. Dead. Then Aberforth was there, shouting at Albus. "It's your fault!" He screamed. "They are dead because of you!"

Albus was frozen, he couldn't move his wand and perform the spell if he wanted to. But he didn't want to, he wanted to run to the, to shake them and wake them up. He barely managed to say the incantation before running out of the defense classroom. He didn't stop running until he was out of the grounds.

Sat beneath an old tree, trying to take deep breaths. He felt like a bomb that was about to go off. Putting his hands to his hair, he pulled as hard as he could. He rubbed his hands over his face that started biting his knuckles in an attempt to calm down. He didn't know if he was crying.

"Albus?" A soft voice asked.

Albus looked up, his vision blurred, and saw a head of white hair.

"Can you hear me?" Abraxas asked? Albus nodded. "Can you take a deep breath for me? That's good, keep doing it, we can count if you want."

And they sat there, Albus didnt know for how long, with Abraxas counting and Albus taking in deep breaths.

The first Hogsmeade trip was on the thirty first of October. On the morning of, Albus, Elphias and Adam had all walked to the village together, deciding to go to Honeydukes. They stepped onto the checkered floor and were overwhelmed by the amount of sweets in front of them. Acid pops, Bertie Botts, Cockroach cluster and more. There were shelves upon shelves of the most amazing sweet available. There was even a wall full of 'Special Effects' sweets.

Albus had gotten plenty of sweets, and had left the shop with his money bag feeling considerably lighter.

They had decided on going to the Three Broomsticks, Elphias had insisted that they try Butterbeer.

After getting served by the bar,man, they tried the drinks for the first time. Albus felt his entire body warm up and a nice tingling sensation lingered in his finger tips.If anyone looked over at the three boys circled around a small table, they would see kids having fun without a care in the world.

As the next few months passed, Albus hadn't answered many questions in defense against the dark arts, still embarrassed about when he ran out. Whenever someone would bring it up, he would make up some silly excuse or change the conversation.

He did this because, whenever he thought about that dau, he thought about Abraxas Malfoy. Something he does a lot lately. He thought about the way he runs a hand through his hair and the way his throat bobs when he swallows. He pondered on how it would feel to run his own hand through Abraxas' hair and maybe even to hold the older boy's hand.

Christmas passed and it was uneventful. Aberforth had decided to go home whilst Albus had stayed at Hogwarts. There was another Hogsmeade trip, which the boys mostly spent huddled in The Three Broomstick drinking plenty of Butterbeer to keep warm.

By the time march had come around, Albus still hadn't improved in potions. In fact, he was getting worse.

He sat in a corner in the Hogwarts library, with a tall stack of books next to him, and his potions book open in front of him. They were supposed to be studying antidotes, how to make all them, what they are used for and more. The professor had announced to the entire class that he would test Albus' antidote on Percy, his owl.

He runs a hand through his hair and huffs, scribbling something out on his parchment. There is a tenseness in his muscles that makes him feel like a mannequin. He was just on the verge of giving up when he heard Abraxas Malfoy calling his name. He looks up and is met with grey eyes.

"Do you need help?" The boy asked.

"Yes, though, I am useless at potions so it's probably a waste of your time."

"I'm sure it won't be." Then Abraxas sits in the seat next to him and reads over the work he's done. "This isn't too bad, you have the basic idea of it all. Most of this stuff can be found in your books, it's just a matter of memorising. You wrote here 'a bezoar comes from a goat and it is an antidote to all poisons' you're very close. Just be more specific about where in the goat you find it. The bezoar doesn't work for all poisons on it's own, and often has to be made into a potion."

Albus looks at him, in awe, then starts to scribble everything the boy just said down onto his messy parchment. Abraxas helped him all afternoon.

After that interaction, the two talked more often. Abraxas would help him with potions and Albus would help him with transfiguration, something he still excelled at. Since he started working with Abraxas, potions had made more sense and head gotten better at it. Even Candid noticed and gave Gryffindore five points.

Abraxas and Albus were together more often too, they would walk around the grounds together, sitting under a tree and having a conversation. Albus felt that when he was with Abraxas, he could say almost anything. Abraxas looked at him as if the words he spoke were golden. And Albus liked this very much.

Someone who didn't like it , however, was Elphias. A week before the end of year exams Elphias had approached him and said.

"Albus? Can I have a word." Albus replied with a quick yes. "Why are you always with that Malfoy?"

"What?" Albus asked, confused.

"You're always with him, you barely speak to us anymore."

"That's not true, I spoke to you yesterday!" He argued.

"You're always with him. What's so cool about him anyway? A great dirty snake like him."

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't speak about my friends like that," Alnus said cooly, then grabbed his stuff and walked to the gryffindor common room, which was empty apart from Adam.

"Did you tell him to say that?" Albus accused.

"Say what?" Adam asked, startled.

And Albus recounted everything Elphias had said. "Of course I didn't, Al."

"Well? Do you think the same?"

"I can't deny that you have been distant, don't start with me, I know it's not on purpose. I love that you have other friends, it's just that, well, I miss you."

"I speak to you everyday," Albus retorts, feeling guilty.

"I know, it's just different. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, we're usually always together. I'd imagine Elphias is feeling more left out than normal. I'd love to stay and chat but I have a detention with Merrythought. Dont be too angry with him, Al." And Adam leaves the common room.

Their end of year exams went smoothly, a lot better than last year. Albus even felt that he did well on his potions exam. He knows he did well on his defense against the dark arts exam, he had always been good at it. Transfiguration had been easy for Albus, considering he had started doing O.W.L work.

Abraxas and him had agreed to write to each other over the summer, and the same with Adam. He still hasn't made up with Elphias, but Adam was now friends with Abraxas too. Which Albus counted as a win.

That year was probably his favourite so far, aside from falling out with his friend, it had been lovely. He exited the train, feeling sad but happy as well. A small smile on his face as he thought about the white-haired boy.


	6. five

Limbs splayed out on the settee, Albus listens to the sound of Aberforths feeding his goats in the garden and the pats of Ariana’s feet as she plays hide and seek with their mother. Albus has spent a lot of his summer in this position, waiting for Percy to come back with a letter from his friends. 

He often found himself looking forward to Abraxas’ letter a little more than others. Albus reckons he has figured out why the fifteen-year-old Abraxas Malfoy would pop into his head so often. He had a crush. Albus believed it to be more than a silly crush, but that’s just extra details. It was a horrible thing to go through, having a crush. 

But it was more than butterflies, it was bigger. Like liquid adrenaline was being injected into him whenever he thought of Abraxas’ grey eyes. And how he spent days lying around his bedroom with nothing but Abraxas’ pink lips or his long legs on his mind.

  
  


His trunk and owl cage in a trolley, he casually stands against the barrier, and when there are no muggles looking his way, he surreptitiously walks through and is met with the scarlet train and is quickly embraced by Adam, his best friend.

“Albus!” He exclaimed, “I missed you.” He takes a step back, keeps hold of Albus by his shoulders, and squints dramatically. “Have you gotten taller?”

Albus nodded, because he had, in fact, grown several inches over the summer. HE was as tall as Adam now, if not taller. Albus had started walking with airy confidence that he never had before, to. 

“I missed you too,” Albus replied. “And yes, I am taller, probably taller than you. Do you think you will be able to reach the top shelf?” Adam swats his hand across the back of Albus’ head.

Albus grabs his trunk and drags it along the busy platform, Adam closely behind him, and loads it into the train and goes to sit in the normal compartment.

“How was your summer? It’s been three years something has to have happened,” Albus retorts.

“Well,” Adam starts and a pink blush covers his cheeks. “This girl, she moved into the house next to me, we’ve only spoken a few times, but she’s lovely.” 

A pang of jealousy hit Albus at the thought of his best friend going off with someone else, then he remembered how hypocritical that was. Perhaps, this was how Adam felt when he and the Slytherin became friends, if it was, he did a good job of hiding it. Either way, Albus had decided that he was going to be a good friend, and not pout about it.

“That’s... Nice?” Albus says, trying to sound enthusiastic. “Hey mate, did you get all your homework done?”

An hour or so later, Abraxas Malfoy swaggered in and sat so close to Albus that their sides were pressed to each other. “Alright lads? Not causing too much trouble I hope”

Albus inhales loudly. “Us? How dare you accuse us of such an outrageous thing!”

“D’you get your socks?” Abraxas asked, mouth full of the chocolate frog that he just pulled from his pocket.

Albus bends down and rolls up the ends of his trousers, revealing a pair of the most hideous looking green socks that have ever been made.

Adam lets out a noise of repulsion, “which old lady made you those, Al”

“This old lady!” Abraxas exclaims, “I’ll have you know those socks took three weeks to make!”

The compartment filled with laughter and Abraxas reached down, grabbed Albus’ legs, and placed them on the seat opposite, next to Adam, showcasing the hideous socks.

“I think they are great,” Albus retorts. “Super comfy.” and he sends an overexaggerated wink at Abraxas as Adam swears at him and calls him names he would never say within a mile radius of his mother.

  
  


Sat next to each other at the Gryffindor table, Albus and Adam waiting for the sorting hat to finish its song, eager to dive into the glorious feast. The first year’s looking around nervously at the front of the hall.

“Abbot, Max,” Professor Lester called out. And a small, plump, blond-haired boy approaches the stool, trembling so much Albus thought he might fall over.

“Definitely a Hufflepuff,” Albus tells Adam, who agrees with him.”

“HUFFLEPUFF!” The hat bellows.

Adam high fives the auburn-haired boy as Professor Lester calls out another first year. A tall, neatly looking boy, with slick black hair, approaches the stool with an air of arrogance about him.

“Slytherin, no doubt about it,” Adam says.

The hat is silent for a few seconds before exclaiming, “GRYFFINDOR!”

Albus and Adam look at each other, exasperatedly before clapping with the rest of the enthusiastic Gryffindors. 

  
  


After the sorting had finished, the headmaster had made a speech, then clapped twice and delicious smelling food filled the table. Albus hurries to fill his plate and doesn’t bother to blow on his potatoes before cramming them into his mouth. He looks up, cheeks full, and meets a pair of grey eyes. Abraxas. They stare at each other for a minute, then Abraxas winks and looks away.

It was so quick that Albus almost missed it, but when he saw Abraxas cocky smirk, he knew that he hadn’t imagined it. He let his head fall forward, hoping his long hair, now past his shoulders, would cover his face, which he was sure was a deeper red than a Weasley’s hair. 

  
  


Weeks have passed and they are sat underneath a gnarled tree, the weather wasn’t too bad but they also had Albus heating spells to keep them warm.

“Can you show me the Accio charm again?” Adam asked, desperately. He hadn’t been able to get it since they started.

Albus replies with a yes and takes his wand out from his hair, which was holding it up out of his face, but before he can perform the spell a very familiar face approaches them.

“Albus? Can I have a word?” Elphias Doge asks, rubbing his hands up and down his hands. Albus wasn’t sure if it was because he was nervous or just cold.

“I don’t see why not, but please,” Albus pauses. “Make it quick if you’re going to have a go at me because of who my friends are.”

“Oh Albus,” Elphias cried, “I’m so sorry, it was completely inappropriate of me, I shouldn’t have shouted at you.”

Albus meets his eyes, keeping a straight face, before smiling gently. “Okay, don’t do it again.” Elphias sat down next to them and offered Adam his help with the Accio charm, having already done it the year before.

  
  


November had come in the blink of an eye and before he knew it, Abraxas’ birthday had come. Albus had given him a sneakoscope he bought from Diagon Alley, he reckoned it would help with much seeing as it whirred all the time when Albus had it, he had to stuff it in the bottom of his trunk. 

Sat on a bench in the far corner of the library, hidden by rows of bookshelves, Albus’ leg pressed against the Slytherins. 

“I can’t believe you're sixteen already,” he chirped. “Merlin, you’re getting old.”

“You cheeky git, watch your mouth mister,” Abraxas replied, faking a dangerous tone. “Or you’ll be getting more socks.”

“ I’d be honored, I reckon, with a bit of practice, you’d be better than a house-elf.”

A minute or so passes, and ABraxas turns his head to Albus. He moved forward slightly and Albus became even more aware of how hot the white-haired boy’s thigh felt against his own. Swiftly, Abraxas’ hands were on the side of Albus’ face and suddenly Albus’ lips were pressed to his. It was so quick Albus barely had a moment to enjoy the feel of Abraxas’ plump lips against his one because the other boy had already scooped his stuff and hurried out of the library. 

Albus sat there, frozen. By the time he had moved, he knew it would be too late to run after Abraxas. He raised his fingers to his lips and smiled, feeling like a silly school-girl.

  
  


Before Albus had had time for it to fully sink in that Abraxas had kissed him, his teachers had set them more homework than ever, and he barely had time to think about anything else until Christmas. 

Adam and Elphias had already left for home, Albus decided to stay like always. Albus is walking through the third-floor corridor when he spots the familiar white hair walking in his direction. He speeds up and grabs the boy’s sleeve and pulls him into the nearest, deserted classroom.

Before Albus thinks about saying something to him, his heart racing, he acts irrationally, purely based on instinct, and places his hands on either side of the Slytherins head and kisses him hard. It wasn’t perfect, far from it, but he hoped it was good enough that Abraxas wouldn’t run away.

“Why did you run away?” He asked after he pulled away, keeping a firm grip on him.

“We shouldn’t do this,” Abraxas starts, and Albus’ heart stops. Had he misread the entire situation? That was ridiculous, why would Abraxas kiss him if he didn’t want to do this? “But I want to, Albus I really want to.”

“It’s not a bad thing, we can keep it between us.” Albus whispers.

“Isn’t it? Mother says it is. All the time.”

But before Albus could answer Abraxas had kissed him and knocked all the air out of his lungs, his brain lit on fire and a warmth spread through his body, he felt his magic bubbling. It wasn’t perfect, it was wet and the clacking of teeth was annoying, but they didn’t care. They broke apart gasping for air and their eyes met again, then they burst out into fits of giggles. 

  
  


When Adam had returned, they lounged around their room in their pyjamas, and Albus was wearing a pair of ugly red socks now, a gift from Abraxas. He looked up from his book when he heard Adam mumble something.

“Speak up will you,” he says, throwing a pair of socks at him.

“I have a girlfriend,” Adam said and buried his face in his hands.

“Go on then, who is she,” Albus replied in a light-hearted tone.

Adam spills into a full ramble about how perfect this girl is, with her curly black hair and blue eyes and in Adams words ‘were a better colour than the sea’.

  
  


Months pass, Adam still hadn’t gotten out of his honeymoon phase and would speak for hours upon hours on how perfect Katherine is. 

Abraxas and Albus spent more time together, it wasn’t much different to how it was before, just more kissing and occasional handjobs. It was hard to spend time together where they could kiss because it was awkward going into one another’s common room. The old Slytherin-Gryffindor rivalry didn’t help. They found places, mostly broom cupboards or dark, dingy passageways that would have to suffice. They spent many hours around the castle, with only each other on their mind.

  
  


The exams came and went, the same monotony that follows every year. Abraxas had taken his O.W.Ls, he said they went well and he was proud of himself. Albus was proud of him too. 

They managed to spend some time together in Albus’ dorm on a Hogsmeade trip, they had decided to stay back when everyone else went. They were splayed out, tired, and sweaty on Albus’ bed, he wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in the Slytherins arms but he had to sneak him out before the others returned.

  
  


He left Hogwarts feeling worse than any time before, and dreading having to spend two months without Abraxas. And Adam, of course. 

Boarding the train sullenly, he and Abraxas walked to their compartment, staying close together. They stayed close until they had to split on the platform. Two months, then he’d be back.

  
  



	7. six

Albus lay with his limbs stretched out and sheets array, basking in the afterglow, a letter from Abraxas in his hands. Whispering to no one, he begins to read aloud, "dear Albus, I hope you are well, I miss you greatly. I think I got too used to you, life seems so dull without your smile, or maybe it's just because I'm back home.

"Mother keeps talking about me getting married. I've already seen two people and I've only been back a week. I'm sorry that I have to tell you this but I want you to know. I don't know how long we can carry on. Mother expects me to marry and have kids as soon as I leave school. If I could stay with you forever, I would. But I think we both know that's highly unrealistic. I had a dream about you last night, it feels weird saying that when I just bore such bad news. I'm sorry. I hope everything is going well, how is your family? All my love, A"

Pushing himself up, he rests against the wooden headboard and stares into the wall in front of him. He couldn't help the fury that rose in him at the mention of Abraxas being with someone else. They both knew what they had wouldn't last, that it couldn't last, but Abraxas having to meet possible wives was something Albus wasn't prepared for. He wasn't prepared for the sinking feeling in his stomach or the burning jealousy that flamed when he thought of it.

Moving to his desk, grabbing some parchment and his golden quill, he began to write.

Dear Abraxas,

All is well here. Aberforth had a good second year and he's excited to be able to go to Hogwarts. Ariana is much bigger now, she isn't as tiny as I remember her, it's a shame she won't be able to go to Hogwarts. She's a danger to herself and others, it's for the best and she understands. Mum's been thinking about teaching her wandless magic. She's been doing some research and she thinks that Ariana might be able to control her magic.

I'm sorry about your mother, that really is a shame. We both knew this would happen eventually, still, it doesn't numb the pain. Thank you for telling me.

You had a dream about me? Only one? I'm insulted.

Write back soon, I miss you.

All my love, A.

He ties the letter to Percy's outstretched leg and his letter is off. Adam had also been writing to him, he rented out an owl from Eeylops Owl Emporium in Diagon Alley. It's a bit slow, but it gets the job done.

More letters came from Abraxas, talking about how much he missed the auburn-haired boy, the girls his mother made him see, he sent some soft socks which Albus presumed must have been of the highest quality and very expensive. He had mentioned seeing albus in his dreams and how pretty he looked on his knees, which had Albus feeling flustered for days.

Letters from Adam came too, at a slower rate than Abraxas, but they still came. He mentioned how big his sister had gotten and how she doesn't even ask him to read to her anymore. He mentioned his girlfriend, Katherine, and how Albus should meet her.

The odd letter came from Elphias, he was away in Germany, his family had a lot of gold.

For his birthday Adam got him a selection of muggle sweets, which he, Aberforth, and Ariana all indulged in. Abraxas sent him a knitted green jumper and twenty galleons, which Albus almost sent back until he read the letter that was enclosed, telling him that if she sent it back he would just send it to his mother, the jumper was green because Abraxas insisted that he looked best in Slytherin colours. Elphias had sent him a gold elephant, which according to the man in Germany was real gold.

Perhaps the best gift of all was what came with his Hogwarts letter. Armando Dippet had chosen to make him a prefect. This was what he had been working up to, he wanted to be head boy in his seventh year. It was for a multitude of reasons. He wanted to make his mother proud, he wanted it so it would look good when he applied for jobs, it would open up much more with people believing and trusting him.

With the excitement of becoming a prefect, the days seemed to go by quicker. He had gone to Diagon Alley to buy his stuff, unfortunately, he didn't run into any of his friends. Before he knew it he had run through the barrier at Kings Cross and was boarding the train.

He had gone to his normal compartment, hoping to see someone there, and to his luck, Adam was sitting there, gazing out of the window.

"Oi, lover boy, help me with this will you," Albus questioned, amusement in his voice.

Adam turns to him, "you prat," he says and grabs the other end of his trunk and shoves it into the overhead compartments.

"I'd love to stay and chat but I've got to get to the prefect compartment. If you see Abraxas or Elphias tell them where I am, I shouldn't be too long," Albus informs him and heads out, closing the door behind him.

He squeezes through people, pressing up against the walls until he reaches a door that says, prefects. He knocks gently before sliding it open and walking in. A tall, red-haired boy with horn-rimmed glasses and a shiny badge that read 'head boy'. A short, plump, and pretty girl sat next to him, with a similar badge.

The girl stood up and shook his hand firmly before guiding him to a seat and saying kindly, "I'm Amelia Clearwater and this is Alexander Hart, if you sit down here, we're just waiting for the others to arrive then we'll get started."

It takes five more minutes for the rest of the prefects to arrive. Once everyone is sat down, the pretty girl, Amelia, stands up again.

"As you all know, you have been chosen to be prefects. You have been given extra privileges and extra authority. We trust you not to abuse this power. To our new prefects, you can dock points for the things mentioned in the handbook," Alexander starts giving out handbooks to all of the prefects. "If you do have any questions please ask, we have given handbooks to everyone as they are now updated with new rules and some things the caretaker has mentioned.

"You will continue to be prefects until you leave school. If you have a serious reason for not wanting to be a prefect, speak with your head of house and they will decide what to do. The password to the bathroom for this month is 'blubberduck' and if you don't know the password for the month please ask. The bathroom is located on the fifth floor of the castle, through the fourth door to the left of the statue of Boris the Bewildered."

She sits down and Alexander starts speaking, "for today we will patrol the Hogwarts express from time to time, just to make sure everything is okay. You will receive your timetable that tells you when you are patrolling the corridors tomorrow from us. You have responsibilities as leaders now, you will lead the first years to the common room, give them the passwords and help them when they need it," he prudently informs them. "We have meetings twice every term, this is the first meeting of this term. We also share the bathroom with the quidditch captain and if you can't get in even though you have the right password it's probably because the door is locked and whoever is inside does not wish to be interrupted. Do you have any questions?"

He looks down at the prefects and see's that they don't and tells them that they can leave. Albus hurries back to the compartment where Adam, Abraxas, and Elphias are now sat. "Here comes the prefect," Adam jokes.

"Oh piss off," Albus tells him with a smile growing on his face. He takes his seat next to Abraxas and tries to sit as closely as possible without raising any suspicions.

"Why you wearing Slytherin colours, Al?" Adam asks.

"It was a gift," he says and ducks his head, hoping that his hair covers his rosy cheeks.

"From his favourite snake," Abraxas bantered, throwing an arm around Albus' shoulder and resting his head on the younger boy’s. The four laugh and joke about how Albus should have been put in Slytherin instead.

"I was almost in Slytherin, you know?" he informs them lightheartedly. The three boys all look at him weirdly. "Yeah, I was arguing with it for ages and then it decided to put me in Gryffindor."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Adam playfully whinged.

"It never came up," Albus said, shrugging. He looks tpo Abraxas, who has a funny look on his face, one that Albus can't decipher. "Someone conjure a big blanket, I'm freezing." to that, Abraxas whips out his wand and accio's a pair of socks from his trunk and silently transforms them into a big green blanket.

"Where'd you learn to do that?" Elphias asks in awe.

"It's quite easy once you put your mind to it," he clarified casually. Grabbing one end of the blanket he pulls it over him and Albus and subtly shifts closer to him, rubbing his hand under the green cover.

Adam is sitting at the window and Elphias by the door, Albus and Abraxas both have their feet up, covered by the blanket between them. After a while of comfortable silence, with Albus reading with one hand, the witch comes by with the trolley. Elphias gets some chocolate frogs and licorice wands, Adam gets a few pumpkin pasties and Abraxas gets three of everything on the trolley, giving the witch a handful or gold, silver and bronze coins.

He drops them on the blanket that covers the four boys and they fall into silence once more. Albus looks at Abraxas, leaning a bit closer and whispering in his ear, "Why'd you get so much?"

Abraxas looks at him, almost shocked that he didn't figure it out already, "for you," he replied simply. "Eat up."

Albus wants to tell him that he doest need to be taken care of and that he could pay for it if he wanted to, but they both know that's not true. His family had enough money to pay for the house, food and other necessities but that was it. His father had left a considerable sum of money but that had been used up in paying for everything. He hoped that it would be easier for his mother without the two of them there, as horrible as it sounds.

So he swallows his pride and a few chocolate frogs too.

Some few hours into the journey Abraxas hand moves to his leg, rubbing comforting circles and he reads one of his school books and as Albus reads The Tales of Beedle the Bard. Albus looks at him, his face impassive, and grabs a sugar quill, using that to write notes on his book instead of an ordinary quill.

He switches the nibs and dips it in ink that's on a small ledge Adam conjured for him. He scribbles his thought and underlines sentences he wants to look back on, occasionally suckking on the quill, swirling his tongue around the end of it.

"Enjoying yourself, Albus?" Adam joshed. Albus stops sucking on the sweet and sends two fingers Adams way with a glare. The grip on Albus' thigh tightened and he looked at Abraxas and smiled cheekily.

\--

Albus and Carrie Gavron, the other Gryffindor prefect, lead the first years to the common room and told them the password. Once they are inside Albus starts to speak, "This is the Gryffindor common room, there is the boy's dormitory and girl's dormitory," pointing to each of them respectively. "You will sleep in these rooms until you leave Hogwarts, If any of you have any questions, please do not be afraid to ask, we are here to help," he finishes than heads up to his own room and changes into his green knitted jumper and pyjama pants that are several inches to short for him. He grabs his potion book for that year, and some leftover sweets from the train and heads back downstairs. Sitting in an armchair in front of the fire he begins to read.

The Draught of Peace is a potion which relieves anxiety and agitation. Its ingredients are powdered moonstone, syrup of hellebore, powdered porcupine quills, and powdered unicorn horn. It should be a turquoise blue when finished and simmered before being consumed.

Oh Merlin, thought Albus, can't wait to make a fool of myself again.

He reads until his eyelids droop and he keeps reading over the same sentence. Stumbling up the stairs, he barely made the bed before falling fast asleep, on top of his sheets.

\--

His first lesson was defense against the dark arts, with Professor Merrythought. By the time she had come in all of the students, Gryffimdor and Slytherin, were sat down with their wands out.

"Wands away, books out," she ordered and the class collectively groaned. Lessons when they are told to put their wands away are rarely good. "I'm sorry but I want to get the written work finished quickly so we can move onto the practical work and have more time for that."

She sets her stuff down on her desk and takes stuff out from her bag, dropping it with a thud. "Turn to page 279, and I want someone to read the extract out loud."

"Professor, I thought patronus' were N.E.W.T level," a Slytherin girl says.

"They are, there was just a new question on the test about patronus', nothing practical or difficult, just a simple question. Albus can you read it for us?"

Albus looks at her and fumbles with the pages trying to get to the right one, then he starts to read, "This ancient and mysterious charm conjures a magical guardian, a projection of all your most positive feelings. The Patronus Charm is difficult, and many witches and wizards are unable to produce a full, corporeal Patronus, a guardian which generally takes the shape of the animal with whom they share the deepest affinity. You may suspect, but you will never truly know what form your Patronus will take until you succeed in conjuring it."

"Thank you, I want you to read the rest of the chapter silently then start your homework," she pauses, opening an ink bottle. "Which is seven inches of parchment on the patronus charm, when it was made, what its used for and how to produce one."

The day passed slowly, with double potions, charms and transfiguration. All his teachers had set many inches of homework to be completed, he would have to spend the evening in the library.

Running from his last class to the great hall, he scoffs his food as quick as possible, then rushes off to the library, in and out before Adam has even arrived. Grabbing his stuff and dropping it on the table he moves through different sections of the library, picking up at least ten books before returning to his table, where Abraxas is now sat.

"Oh, hey," Albus said, quickly coming over his brief shock.

"Busy day?" he asked, nodding at his stack of books.

"Yeah, you?"

"Not really," Abraxas stands up and takes the books out of Albus' hands and places them on the table. "Have you ate?" He asked, bringing a hand up to rest against the younger boy's face.

"Yeah, really quickly though, I wanted to get this stuff finished," he replied.

"Do you want me to do your potions?"

"If you don't mind," and Albus grabs his piece of parchment which has the homework question on and passed it to the Slytherin.

"Twelve inches of the properties of moonstone and its uses in potion making," he stands and grabs a book from a shelf next to them. "It's practically copied out word for word in here, you finish your defense then we'll start on charms," he added, with a smile that never failed to make Albus feel fuzzy.

Moments like these were some of Albus' favourites. Being able to work in comfortable silence, occasionally broken by Albus murmuring a question and Abraxas muttering the answer back. Feeling Abraxas' leg pressed against his as they sat down on the bench, their hands touching as they wrote across the parchment.

It grows darker and darker and eventually the clock strikes ten and they have to leave. "I have to run, I'm patrolling the fifth floor," Albus informs him.

"Till when?"

"Midnight," Albus answers.

"I'll try and come see you," Abraxas states.

"What if you get caught?"

"I won't," he winks at the auburn-haired boy, grabs his bag and leaves the library.

Later that night, whilst Albus is patrolling the corridors something grabs him and pulls him into an empty classroom. His heart beating so fast he can almost hear it, it settles instantly when he sees the familiar white head of hair in front of him.

"You almost gave me a heart attack, Rax," Albus pants, putting a hand on his heart.

"I'm sorry," he says, kissing his forehead. "Let me make it up to you." And kisses him.

Albus shivers. Abraxas' mouth, though, is hot. His lips part against Albus', their tongues meeting. It's a lazy dance, neither is leading nor following. It obliterated all of his thoughts, the Gryffindors usual mode of finishing everything and moving on to the next, he never wanted the kiss to end. Drunk on endorphins his only desire was to be with Abraxas, feel Abraxas. They kissed for what might have been forever, but that still wasn't long enough for Albus.

They kiss until Abraxas falls to his knees, unbuckling Albus' belt and pulling his pants down. The Slytherins' hands ran over Albus' body. He seemed positively enthralled by the boy in front of him. Like the older boy said, he did make it up to him. He made it up to him until he was writhing above him, hands nestled deep, and tugging harshly in his hair.

Albus slides down the wall of the empty muggle studies classroom, "d'you want me to?" he asks, gesturing to the other boy, he answered with a shake of Abraxas' head and a light kiss to his forehead.

"I'll have to leave soon," Abraxas murmurs, now pressed against Albus, gently stroking his long hair. "I really like your hair, you know?"

"Thank you, I like yours too," Albus replies. "I'm thinking of cutting it."

"It's up to you, but you should let me braid it sometime."

Albus looks up at him in confusion. "You can do that?" He asks.

"My mum taught me how to do hers, so that when she gets older she can still have perfect hair," he said, with a bittersweet smile. "I'm sorry to bring her up."

"It's okay, we both knew what would happen, we just have to make the most of the time we have," he stands up, brushing his trousers and offering a hand to help Abraxas up. "We really should be leaving."

\--

The months pass in a blur. There is less time for Abraxas because it's all filled up with homework. Whenever he does get time with him it's usually short and they are both stressed from the workload. With Albus' O.W.Ls approaching, and Abraxas starting his N.E.W.Ts, they struggle to spend time focusing on just each other. But they manage. Sneaking into empty classrooms, even the Prefects bathroom once.

The first time they went in the prefect's bathroom was in November, for Abraxas' birthday. They had met in the bathroom at three in the morning, quite frankly it was a miracle they weren't caught, but it was worth it. It was worth the intense lavender smell and the slight ache Albus was left with.

December came and it was uneventful, Abraxas had to go home because his mother had more women for him to meet and Adam went visiting his family and Elphias was on another trip. His mother had written him a letter, apologising for not getting him any gifts, even though Albus insisted that it didn't matter. Elphias sent him twenty galleons, which Albus sent to his mother, and some sweets from France which lasted about five minutes before they were devoured. Adam sent him another muggle book and a lavender scented candle, something which Albus was regularly teased about. Abraxas sent him the most heartwarming letter, an enclosed letter about a competition, and a silver necklace that hung loosely around Albus' neck.

\--

More days became weeks and weeks became months, he had seen Abraxas more. They both made revision timetables that suited both of them, so that they would be able to spend more time together.

Albus had done more research on the competition that Abraxas had told him about. Barnabus Finkley Prize for Exceptional Spell-Casting, it's called. There was a one hundred galleon prize and Albus had to win it. One weekend in March, with Headmaster Dippet's permission, he and Abraxas flooed to the location. There were nine other people waiting there.

All Albus had to do was perform a series of what should be complicated spells, but for him were easy, with perfect accuracy. Most of them were transfiguration, and a lot of that is in how you move your wand, something Albus excelled in.

When Barnabus Finkley announced the top three, he was waiting. He had to be first. Then his name was called out. He walked up to the short, black-haired man, shook his hand and took the bag of gold that was held out to him.

When he was back at school, he sent it off to his mother, using a big school owl.

\--

By the time O.W.Ls came around, ALbus was feeling prepared. He had quizzed himself repeatedly on everything that would come up on the exams, and had gotten it right. He made flashcards upon flashcards and studied until the sun was rising.

He came out of each exam feeling more confident than ever, that he had excelled. Surprisingly, he found everything in the potions exam easy. It all came back to him, maybe that was because this year, potions were more interesting. He found himself reading more upon potions outside of class and became heavily interested in alchemy. He spoke to Professor Lester, head of Gryffindor house, about taking it for his N.E.W.Ts, and was told that he would speak to his potions teacher and receive an answer over the holidays.

He missed the comforting touch of Abraxas, but he understood why he couldnt have it, even if it was stupid. Prejudiced bigots, he often thought.

When the time came to leave Hogwarts for another year, he found himself less sad. That's because he had something to look forward to. Abraxas had booked two rooms at the Leaky Cauldron, for the last week of the summer holidays. Albus often counted down the days until that week.

Then he sat on the Hogwarts Express once more, the castle fading into the background, his hand kept warm by Abraxas and his two best friends in front of him.


	8. seven

Grinning, Albus takes the letter from the owl’s leg and begins to read.  _ Albus,  _ it’s written in the most elegant writing,  _ it has been two weeks since I last saw you and miss you greatly. Not a day has gone by where I don’t miss your smile. I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to write yet, but I am now, and that’s the important thing, isn’t it? I must get this out of the way before I continue, Mother has found me a match, or whatever you want to call her. Her name is Persephone. She is a lovely young girl, a bit young, but I don’t plan on being romantically involved with her anyway. It’s just for appearances. I don’t know how long we will be able to carry on Albus. _

His stomach drops, he has half a mind to rip up the letter and set the remains on fire, but he continues reading.

_ I hope, and believe, that we will be able to remain until I leave Hogwarts and before you start your seventh year. I plan to make the best of every moment we have together, even if those moments may be limited. I promise to make you happy. If you wish to end it before then, I will understand and will not stop you, if that’s what you truly want. When we are done, I don’t want you to be sad, not for a second. I hope that we will be able to remain friends and I hope that this news doesn’t ruin the upcoming year. I wish your family the best. How is everything going? Please, if you need anything, contact me. Even if you don’t need anything, contact me. Hearing about you makes my day, always. I can't wait to see you. Missing you, A. _

Dread creeps over him like an icy chill, numbing his brain and body. He can’t do much more than stand there, with the letter in his hands. He can't remember the tears starting to fall down his face or falling onto his bed, clawing at the sheets as if that will do anything.  _ It’s my fault,  _ he thinks,  _ I knew what I was getting into.  _ But it doesn’t stop it from hurting, nothing stops it from hurting. 

He lays there, splayed out on the sheets for the rest of the day until sleep enveloped him like an old friend. 

When he wakes, he scrambles to write a reply.

_ Hello, I know, I’m happy that she is nice. I agree, let's make the most of what we have. My love, A. _

It’s a short reply but he can’t think of what else to say. What do you say when you’ve just had your heart ripped out?

He attaches it to Abraxas’ owl and sends it off, then writes another letter to Adam.  _ Sorry for the letter, but I need some help. How do you make the most of something when you know it’s limited? When you know that you’ll just be even more hurt in the end. Please write to me, but I want to see you. If you can floo to mine please do, we have the network open for the next two weeks. Lots of love, Albus.  _ And he sends the letter with Percy.

Some few hours later, he trots down the stairs, to be greeted by his sister. “Ariana, how are you?” He asks.

“I’m good, are you okay? I heard you crying last night, did someone hurt you?”

“I’m okay darling, you don’t need to worry about it, where’s mum?” He wonders.

“Work,” Ariana answers, “she’s got three jobs now, I wanted to get one, but she said it’s not safe.”

“Three jobs? She can’t be working that much,” Albus rubs a hand on his forehead.

“Albus, could you,” she pauses, “could you read to me?”

Albus looks at her, surprised, she’s never asked that before. “Of course I can, what book?”

“You choose, I’ll get in your bed.”

He follows after her and runs his fingers over the spines of his books before deciding on a muggle book, that Adam lent him and was never returned. Little Women. Getting comfy, he puts an arm around Ariana, moves close, and begins to read. “‘Christmas won’t be Christmas without any presents’ grumbled Jo, lying on the rug.”

Ariana fell asleep a few hours later and he moved her to her room. He was sitting in the chair next to the fire when his mother came back from work. Her hair had become grayer and her body frailer. Albus stands and takes the bag filled with vegetables from her arms and places it on the kitchen counter. “Mum,” Albus starts, “I want you to quit your jobs.”

“Albus, I can’t,” Kendra says.

“Why?” He says exasperatedly, “It’s not good for you, not at all.”

“We need the money.”   
  


“We have money, I won the one hundred galleon prize, that should be enough for a while.”

“For a while Albus, sure. But not forever,” his mother protested, “I’m not going to be around forever and I need to make sure that you, Aberforth, and Ariana will be okay. I don’t want you struggling.”

“So why should you be struggling, please mum, let me get a job, I have friends who can help! Abraxas told me he would help if we need it.”

“You can get a job if you want, but I don’t want you asking your friends for anything, Albus,” she protested. “Do you understand?”

“Yes mum,” he begrudgingly agreed. “Will you go to bed now please, and get some sleep please?”

\--

Somewhere within the following week, he gets another letter from Abraxas, filled with sweet words that will mean nothing in a year. Adam comes by to visit as Albus asked.

“What happened?” He blurts, dropping his stuff on Albus’ bed.

“I wanted to tell you, I wish I could tell you who, and so much has happened.”

“Get on with it,” Adam says, “what happened.” Then Albus falls into an hour-long ramble of his entire relationship with Abraxas, making sure to never mention his name. 

“Oh Albus,” Adam consoled, “I’m sorry, I don’t reckon there is much you can do apart from making the most of it.”

“But how do I do that,” Albus starts, tears now pouring freely from his face, “when I know it’s going to end horribly.”   
  


“It doesn’t have to, Al,” Adam says, now rubbing the other’s shoulder. “I think you should speak to him.”

At this, Albus’ head snaps up, his tears top running and his face turns pale, “h-him?” He stutters. 

“Oh Albus I’m not stupid,” Adam says loftily, “It’s Abraxas, isn’t it?”

Albus nods, the tears coming back in full force, “you don’t hate me?” He hiccups, rubbing frantically at his eyes.

“I’d never hate you, Albus, you’re my best friend.” Adam shifts to embrace Albus and rub small circles on his back, whispering comforting words into his hair.

After Albus had calmed down and Adam had left, he decides on writing a note to Abraxas.  _ Adam knows and it’s okay, he doesn’t mind, he won’t tell anyone. Love, A.  _ He scribbles, then sends it off and climbs back into his bed, waiting for the last week of summer to come.

And it did. Eventually. Time seemed to slow down, it’s funny how it does that. Gets quicker when you don’t want it to and slows down when you want it to get quicker. On the morning of the last week, he went to Charing Cross Road and entered the leaky cauldron. The barman, Sam, handed him a key and told him to call if he needed anything. 

Unlocking the old door, he pushed it open and was met with a dingy, small room, with a small single bed that had sheets that looked like they haven’t been washed for years. Albus groaned. Placing his trunk on the bed (Albus could have sworn a layer of dust came off), he then went to look at the window, hoping that there would be a sight which would make this room somewhat worth it. There wasn’t. He was met with an old, brick wall that had cracks in it. 

A few minutes later, someone knocked on his door. Before Albus could open it, it swung open and he was met with Abraxas. Before he could say hello, the older boy had grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the room, then led him to a room at the end of the dim corridor.

It was much better than Albus’ to say the least. It had clean, off-white walls, and smelt of lavender unlike the gunky smell Albus’ had. The bed was big and the sheets had been washed. Abraxas locked the door then waved his wand around the room, putting what Albus assumed was a silencing charm on it. 

“Hey,” Abraxas said, wrapping his arms around Albus’ waist.

“Hey,” Albus replied, smiling.

“I missed you.”   
  


“Missed you more,” Albus said, then kissed the boy gently on the lips.

“Kiss now, talk later?” he suggested, with a cheeky smile, leading them over to the bed and pushing Albus down before climbing on him. It's slow at first, gentle. Abraxas’ arms are resting on the sides of Albus’ head, albus’ hands find the Slytherins waist. 

Their bodies pressed heartedly together against the bed, breathing heavily as their lips pressed together. His lips were soft and pillowy against Albus’. He didn't have to tease the older boy, or coax him, the hunger was already there. The weeks they spent apart was leading up to this moment. Albus' hands ran up and down Abraxas as he deepened the kiss. His hand found the boys belt and unbuckled it as quick as he could. Abraxas sat up, the auburn haired boy let out a whine at the loss. The Slytherin quickly unbuttoned his shirt then hurried to do Albus’, his hands moved to the younger boy's pants and Albus lifts his hip so he can pull them down. His hand snakes up to Abraxas’ nape and pull him down into another searing kiss.

\--

Sometime later, Albus can't tell how long, they fell onto the bed. Laughing, he holds Abraxas’ hand, brings it to his mouth and kisses it. “I don't ever want to move,” Abraxas murmurs.

“Me too,” Albus says. “Hows… what she called?”

“Persephone,” he answers. “I don't know, I haven't seen her since I told you about it, I don't really want to think about it.”

“Sorry,” Albus mutters and squeezes his hand gently. 

“It's alright, it's not your fault.”

“Adam said we should talk about it.”

“Did he?” Abraxas yawned, “he’s probably right, we will, just not right now.” 

They lay together in silence for a few minutes longer before Abraxas asks, “d’you get your O.W.L results back yet?”

“Not yet,” he replies, “They’ll come soon though, I hope I've done well.”

“Course you will, Mr exceptional spellcaster of the year.”

Albus laughs tiredly, “I applied to this ministry thing too.”

“Yeah, what was it?”

“British Youth Representative to the Wizengamot.”

“You’re going to become a ministry man?” Abraxas asks.

“No,” Albus answers, “I want to be a teacher.”   
  


“Yeah? You’d smash that,” Abraxas says lovingly. “Professor Dumbledore.”

“Shut up,” Albus chortled.

Two days later, when they were having a bottle of butterbeer and eating shepherd's pie, Sam comes and gives Albus two letters. “These are for you, Lad,” he gruffs.

Albus looks at the. One Hogwarts letter and one ministry ketter.  _ Merlin, _ he thinks. He tears open the Hogwats letter and scans the parchment that's in his trembling hands. “I got Outstanding in everything!” he exclaims, standing up out of excitement.

“Knew you’d smash it,” Abraxas says, taking the letter and the envelope it came in. “Hey you’ve got another letter in her, Al.”

“What?” Albus asks and takes it from Abraxas’ hands. “That's great, I get to do Alchemy for my N.E.W.Ts!” He says excitedly.

“Open the one from the ministry,” Abraxas says, shoving the other letter towards him.

He opens that one too, “Dear Mr Dumbledore, blah blah… we are very pleased to inform you that you have been chosen as the British Youth Representative to the Wizengamot,” he looks up to Abraxas. “Oh merlins left saggy tit, I’ve got it!”

“I knew you would!” Abraxas says excitedly, standing up to give him a totally, non-suspicious hug that's just between two friends. “We’ll celebrate later,” he whispers in his ear and when he pulled away he was more than pleased to see Albus’ flushed cheeks.

On the last day of the summer holidays, Adam and Elphias come down and book rooms in the Leaky Cauldron for a night. The boys gallivanted around Diagon Alley, Adam and Elhpias buying their school books and Albus and Abtaxas wandering in shops, looking at items but not planning to purchase anything. 

In the evening, they managed to persuade Sam to give them some Firewhiskey. Whilst Albus sipped at his drink, he mulled over the week he and Abraxas had just spent together. He would miss waking up in the Slytherins arms, playing with his hair and tracing patterns on his back. His stomach sinks, like it always does when he thinks about Abraxas leaving. A hand meets his under the table ad he looks up to meet Abraxas eyes, who has that gentle smile plastered on his face

The next day, the four boys scrambled to get their stuff ready. Adam had a pounding headache, Elphias too. Pulling their trunks downstairs, they flood to platform nine and three quarters and had barely made it in time. The train had already started moving and Albus barely made it on in time.

The auburn-haired boy rejoined the group after going to the prefect's carriage. Adam and Elphias were in a conversation about Elphias yearly trip, he went to russia this time. Albus slid down next to Abraxas and pulled out his alchemy book. 

“You’re doing Alchemy this year, Al?” Elphias asks.

“It seems that way doesn't it,'' Albus replies, not looking up from his book. “Course i'm doing alchemy, it's really interesting.” Then Albus tumbles head first into a rant about the transmutation of different materials. 

Food filled the table and the corners of albus’ mouth dampened. Hi weakness for the perfectly roasted potatoes, or the buttery mash that was served with the finest gravy imaginable. He wastes no time stacking his plate and eating until he can barely move. After eating dessert, which he ate plenty of, he somehow managed to pull himself from the bench and up to the common room. He decided on going straight to bed, letting his stomach settle. 

The next day, his first lesson was alchemy, which he couldn't be more excited for. Hurrying with his breakfast, he rushed down to the dungeons where Professor Candid room was and was met with two other students in his year. Sarah Bethon, a Ravenclaw and William Carrow, a Slytherin. Albus gave them both a friendly smile, which Sarah returned, but William narrowed his eyes and looked the Gryffindor up and down before looking in another direction. 

Professor Candid opened the door and told them all to come in, looking more relaxed than how Albus usually saw him. “Morning everyone, I want you to read chapter one in your alchemy books. Underline or highlight, i don't really care unless it stands out, the important bits. Things that might help you later on.”

Albus and the rest of the class follow, pulling out his book and turning it to page five. **Alchemy has been a field of study since antiquity. As the time went on, the lack of common words for chemical concepts and processes, as well as the need for secrecy (presumably to avoid**[ **Muggle**](https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Non-magic_people) **persecution) led alchemists to borrow the terms and symbols of**[ **biblical**](https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Bible) **and pagan mythology,**[ **astrology**](https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Astrology) **,**[ **kabbalah**](https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Kabbalah) **and other esoteric fields. This marked a progress in alchemical research, as it allowed the exchange of ideas between alchemists. However, this also ended up making the plainest chemical recipe read like an abstruse magic incantation,** **probably confusing the learning and spreading of alchemy as a**[ **science**](https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Science) **.**

Albus,” Candid calls out, “I’ve got a letter for you, from the headmaster.” He stretches out his hand and Albus walks up to get it. When he's back in his seat, he opens it and it's a letter from the headmaster about his O.W.L scores. He continues reading,  _ you have achieved the highest O.W.L scores of the year. Your name has been added to a plaque in the trophy cabinet.  _

A rush of excitement fills his chest. “Carry on with your work,” the teacher says and Albus can't even find it in himself to be annoyed.

“Your homework is,” the professor starts, “a thousand words on the chapter you have just read, due for next lesson.” Then dismisses them.

“Adam, Adam!” Albus shouts when he sees the black-haired boy. “I got the highest O.W.L scores in the year and I'm going on a fancy plaque in the trophy cabinet!”

“I’m so proud of you!” Adam exclaims giving his friend a side hug.

When they get to the defence against the ark arts classroom, all the tables and chairs are pushed to the sides and Professor Merrythought is leaning against her desk with her hair pulled into a messy bun on the top of her head. 

“Non-verbal spells,” she starts once everyone has settled in, “can anyone tell me what they are.”

“It's a spell that you cast without saying in incantation,” Adam supplies.

“Well done Adam, take five points,” she congratulates. “Now, can someone tell me what the advantages of non-verbal spells are?” Albus’ hand shoots up.

“Your adversary doesn't know what spell you will use, if you're going to use something that wont do a lot of damage or something that will, it gives you a split-second advantage.” Albus answers.

“Correct as always, Albus, another five points,” she compliments. “Today we are going to be starting non-verbal spells. They are difficult spells so don't expect it to work the first time. I will show you how it works. Albus, would you like to help me?”

He steps forward, takes his wand from his robe and holds it outstretched in front of him.

“I’m just going to use a stunning spell, which we all studied last year, nothing too bad. Then, Albus can try and do a counter jinx but only non-verbally. Are you ready?” She asks him and when he nods, she holds her out her wand and bellows “stupefy!”

It happened in a flash. Albus barely realised he had moved his wand and was thinking hard about the shield charm until the stunning spell ricocheted off an invisible shield and hit Professor Merrythought and she went flying back into the cushions she had set up. 

The class erupt into loud cheers as Albus rushes to Merrythought to ask if she's alright. “Im fine, that was amazing,” she tells him, earnestly. “Now that,” she says, pointing to Albus. “Is how you do an outstanding protego charm and an amazing non-verbal spell. Well done Albus! Take twenty points.”

She divides the class up into pairs and has the practicing non-verbal spells. It was, well, chaotic. Pillows and people flying everywhere. Adams legs freeze for a few seconds after he fails to deflect a leg-lock curse Albus sends his way without saying the incantation.

The defence classes just got better as the weeks went on. They studied every jinx, hex and their counter-curses. It wasn't just the defence lessons that got better, either. Transfiguration became more difficult but Albus excelled anyway. They learnt how to do the water-making spells and turn vinegar into wine. Potions became more complex, they brewed the polyjuice potion and many different draughts. They tested ores and produced dyes in alchemy.

Albus made sure to make the most of his time with Abraxas. He made timetables so they could study together and have free time at the same time. Adam and Elphias even asked him to make them a timetable to help them keep on top of their growing pile of homework. So he did. 

Albus and Abraxas spent time in the prefect's bathroom, their secret spot in the library, empty classrooms late at night, even dusty broom cupboards. Albus had come to terms with the fact that it was going to end, and that it was inevitable. Whilst he wasn't okay with that, it was something out of his control, so he had to let it run its course. 

They spent Christmas in and out of each other's common rooms. Abraxas, as a scary seventh year, was able to frighten the first years into leaving the common room, which was nice. And Albus, as a prefect, was able to encourage the Gryffindor first years to leave the common room too. During the Christmas holidays, they fell asleep to the sounds of each other's gentle breaths and woke up in each other's arms. 

But unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. With all the time they spent together, they barely noticed that it sped up. Before they knew it, they had one week left of school. Albus knew what had to happen. 

“I guess this is it,” Abraxas says regretfully. 

“I guess it is,” Albus murmurs.

“Oh Albus,” Abraxas cries and rushes forward to push his lips against Albus’. They are both crying. “I don't want to do this.”

“I know, but we have too. It will be okay, you’ll be okay.”

“I love you,” Abraxas blubbered, pressing kisses to all of Albus’ face. 

“I love you too,” Albus replies, the tears falling quicker. “It’ll be okay, don't worry.”

“I’m sorry,”

“I’m not,” Albus says, firmly. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I have to leave soon,” Abraxas gulped. They spent one more night together, as one. 

Albus thought he was prepared. He thought he was ready for it. And  _ oh  _ how wrong he was. It didn't feel real at first and then it felt like a nightmare. The words Abraxas had mured to him in their nights together, ran through his brain clearer than ever. It was as if a piece of his heart had been ripped out. He cried, and cried. Who would hold his hand? Who would whisper sweet nothings in his ear? Who would comfort him when things got tough? Not him, not anymore. He felt numb, frozen. Adam had comforted him, told him that he needed time. But Albus didt want time, he wanted Abraxas.

But he couldn't have him. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Hello, i know this chapter is unsatisfactory but i was feeling really uninspired, especially towards the end :( my apologies**

**How was your day?**


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